The gardener and his flower
published: Monday | July 4, 2005 | The Gleaner
Keisha Shakespeare, Freelance Writer

THE FIRST time Dwaine Scott hinted to Gillian Carr that he wanted to be more than friends, she answered him in a parable.
"I told him that I was like a flower in a garden that had recently been trampled on, so the flower needed time to blossom again before it could be picked," said Carr, a registered nurse at the Spanish Town Hospital in St. Catherine.
"I understood what she was saying and I felt sorry for her. She had just come out of a relationship and was not ready to be in another. However, I tried to persuade her so I referred to myself as a gardener who knows what he is about," said Scott.
Still, she wasn't ready to bloom.
Several months later he tried again. The two, students at Northern Caribbean University, Mandeville, at the time, were on their way to the cafeteria. This time he changed tactics and instead posed his request this way: "If I were an applicant who had applied for a job it is only fair that I get a response as to my status in relation to the job that I had applied for."
She didn't answer. While they were having supper he again brought up the subject and, not knowing what to say, Carr, 24, danced around the question.
Scott remembered that he started to feel a little uncomfortable and got up to leave because he didn't want to seem pushy.
PARABLE
That's when she decided to answer ¬ in a parable.
"When I realised he was leaving I said to him, 'This is like a job, you look in the newspaper and you apply. But if you see that others are interested in the same job and are writing for interviews, it is then up to you (to decide) if you are going to continue pursuing the job as you need to think of the benefits of the job'. He sat down and started to smile."
While it was a strong signal, it was still not a confirmation. Carr said that she liked Scott but was not sure she was ready to be in a relationship.
ONE MORE TRY
They continued as friends until Scott, 27, decided to try once more. This time they were walking on camps in the night. They had just reached the sundial when Scott asked Carr to be his girlfriend. However, Carr was still hesitant.
"It was the same place (at the sundial) my dad had asked my mother to be his wife. However, I told him that I had to think about it. I wanted to pray about it first even though I felt as if I would just go ahead and give him an answer," said Carr.
"I prayed and thought about it carefully for three days. I knew I was going to be leaving the main campus (in Mandeville) for the Andrews nursing campus in Kingston in August 2002. And he would still be at the main campus. Therefore, I wondered if we could have a long distance relationship. However, after weighing the situation there was nothing that I could find that would cause me to say no. I decided to tell him yes. I also had friends who encouraged me."
They dated for two years, then Scott, an intern pastor for the Knockpatrick division of the Seventh-day Adventist Church, decided to pop the big question.
It was Carr's graduation weekend and he was accompanying her back to the dorm after rehearsal. They had just reached the long staircase across from the gymnatorium (auditorium) and stopped to chat a bit. Scott made his move.
"He asked me to be his wife and I said yes. When we reached the sundial (where my father proposed to my mother) he stopped me and that's when he placed the ring on my finger."
THE WEDDING
The couple got married mid-afternoon on June 5 at Andrews Memorial Seventh-day Adventist Church, Hope Road, St. Andrew, in shades of banana yellow and periwinkle blue.
THE CEREMONY
At the church the couple poured separate containers of salt into a jar then mixed it together signifying that they had become one.
Officiating ministers were pastors Dudley Mullings, Everette Brown, Milton Gregory, and Claude Brown.
THE RECEPTION
The reception was held in the Grand Caribbean Suite of the Knutsford Court Hotel, Ruthven Road, St. Andrew.
Master of ceremonies Norris Cooks told the bride and the groom that there were three types of rings involved in a wedding -- the engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering. He also noted that a man is not complete until he is married.
THE HONEYMOON
Holiday Inn Sun Spree Resort, Montego Bay.
COMMENT FROM HER PARENTS
Carr is the youngest of three for Pastor Glenville and Patricia Carr who say they are happy that she married a pastor as in many instances children do not follow in their parents' footsteps.